Resilient Child

Today, on my Sunday afternoon, I decided to say yes to a good friend who was nervously looking for help for his son. For the past few months his son had shown a symptom of blink his eyes and sometimes rub them because he felt uncomfortable. Doctors said that he was fine and nothing was wrong with his sights. And so I spoke to this little boy.

Turned out that his so-called new habit is a form of anxiety of a bully at his school. When I spoke to his parents, I saw something very brave that they have done to him. Both parents decide to let their son be a resilient child by letting him deal with his issues or problems and see how he handled them. Sometimes, they even pretend not to see or hear the fights between their son and his friends – just to see on how their son handle their problems. Most of the time, he could pass the test well. This time, he is not failing either, he just needs some help.

When I relate this to my own situation, I remember an advice from another good friend. He told me that he was raised by a stay-at-home mom – in which allowed him and his mother to be fully attached to each other. When he grew older and left the house, he had a hard time to cope with the separation – as much as his mother. His point was that my decision to go back to work is a good decision. It will not be easy, but he believed that both – me and my son – will be able to adapt, adjust and eventually be resilient.

I will be back to work soon enough. I still can’t believe how time flies – I took over 5 months off to take care of my son and now it is time to leave him at home. I will try to adjust my schedule because my works are all flexible (yes, I have multiple work at different places!), except when I have to travel around.

My next destination is to be with my son and together we will give ourselves a chance to be resilient.

Lasting Gifts

On early December 2014, I went to a Catholic youth revival to celebrate the birthday of one Catholic community in Surabaya. They invited a speaker from the Philippines named Arun Gogna. I had no idea of who he was – except of what was written at the flyer.

I had a great time at the venue. My friends and I were hypnotized by the way Arun run his sermon (yes, sermon!). We really caught in the message of God’s love that he shared with us. We sang and jumped and laughed and being there fully! At the end of the event, I decided to buy his book. Turned out, only one left: Lasting Gifts You Can Give Your Children.

I bought the book halfheartedly. I was not pregnant and did not know when I will be a mom.

But then, turned out that I was already pregnant with my baby E when I sang and jumped and laughed and bought the book! You just can’t tell God’s plan on you (most of the time).

It is a very simple and easy-to-read book, but the message is clear – how as parents, we need to give the right gifts for our children. They need not only money and present, but more than that – they need us to be available for them. They spell love as time – the time that we are willing to give to them. The moments that we are willing to share with them. They need our presence, instead of presents.

In this new year of 2016, I am hoping that all of you will be able to give the best gifts for your children – your love, time, attention, willingness. They will appreciate, remember and grow from those lasting gifts you give them.

Happy New Year! Be adventurous, be bold, and be dare to love.

PS: Read this book as your reward in this new year, you won’t regret it!

Let Them Be Themselves

“Banyak orangtua akan melakukan segalanya bagi anak-anak mereka,

kecuali mengijinkan mereka menjadi diri mereka sendiri”

(Banksy)

Personal Lessons from Two Week of Motherhood

I still can’t believe that I’m a mother now. I was so used to be an Aunt for numerous nieces and nephews, but now I have my own son to take care of. The feeling is way different.

Along the process, I’ve learned that there are so many experts and so-called experts of motherhood! From my own relatives, friends, close neighbors and simply strangers I’ve met at the waiting room of pediatrician. I’m in awe … There are so many traditional beliefs, scientific quotation and hearsay that people believe – as what it is. Personally, I only take the positive advices and what goes accordingly with my faith as a Catholic mother. I put rosary close to my son, pray Our Father – Hail Mary – Glory prayers everyday with him and tell him that Jesus loves him no matter what. I did not use the traditional spices and certain metal to be put under the bed – to cast away demons. I respect what others believe, while I do my own belief.

Another lesson I’ve learned is the fact that a mother can easily cry over small stuff. I’ve heard so many stories of young babies being put into UV therapy in a hospital. My niece and nephew went the same therapy when they were babies. But when I saw my son being put under that heat, I couldn’t do anything else, but cried and begged God to set him free soon! I can’t imagine what will happen to me when I have to send my son to school for the first time. I guess I will let time answer that thought.

And finally, the most important lesson is the fact that we can communicate clearly with young baby. I can talk to my son and he responds very well! I hope I will be able to keep the faith of giving my best through exclusive breastfeeding. I also told my baby that both of us need to work together closely – so that we can achieve the expected result together. He needs to drink a lot of breastmilk to recover from jaundice and a chance to gain weight as expected.

One friend asked me if I want to be a super mom. I told him that I never want to be a super mom, I just want to be a mom for my son. A mom who can do better each day – with God holds our hands.